How I became a wicked witch

howtobecomeawickedwitch

The other day a girl sent me a message on Instagram asking “Are you wiccan?” (which for all you uninitiated peeps reading this roughly translates to “Are you a witch?”) and I was like “Damn gurl, what gave me away, the crooked pointy nose?”.
So in case you were not aware, there are actual people out there that go around praying to pagan entities like the Moon Goddess or the Horned God and buying a shitload of crystals and pentagram jewelry and calling themselves wiccan or witches. Kind of like Harry Potter fans that take themselves too seriously.
It’s somewhat disappointing when you first think about it, because you might live under the assumption that you are surrounded by rational human beings that stop believing in magic rituals past the age of 10 or even sooner. But that is clearly not the case. I mean just notice how many people believe in alternative health care practitioners that basically operate in the realm of energies and voodoo science. Just like some witches, these people pretend they are able to summon or control these energies, often with the aid of magic herbs, items or rituals. We even have TV stars and icons with thousands of followers with names like “Dr.Oz”, so what can you really expect, Dorothy?

But on the other hand this whole situation got me thinking. I mean it’s not the first time someone assumes I am a witch or calls me a wicked witch. Must be because of my sweet forgiving nature…I suppose.  I’ve had Gipsy witch nicknames ever since high school, titles gained due to my wicked mouth and cursing abilities. Plus I like dressing in black and I am genuinely amused by various evil deeds I often perform myself. The more I think about it the more I realize that pretending to be a wicked witch is super fun sometimes.
So I decided to run with it. Why not take it to another level? They called me a witch and a witch is what I became. Yes! I am the Wicked Witch of the West! Lo and behold! So I died my hair green and started eating children because it’s totally gluten free muahahahahaha!
Oh well, at least one part of that is true, as you can see from the pictures below.

 

wiccanwitch

Hooded top : H&M

Faux Leather Skirt: Stradivarius(old) –similar here

Necklace: Stradivarius – similar here

Studded Boots: Geox(old) –similar here

wickedwitchoutfit

 

This is me trying to work out a spell to make the dog leave me alone for 2 seconds so I can take a picture. Needless to say I have failed miserably so here is a lovely outfit picture featuring Kenzo’s balls! You’re welcome!howibecameawitch

Here I am exercising my evil witch wicked laugh: “Bwahahahaaha”….I mean “Muahahahahaha!”wickedwitchevillaugh

So what would you do if YOU were an evil witch? What kind of spells would you be casting? Here is a list of the spells I’ve started to work on:
– a spell for changing hair colors with a snap of my fingers
– a spell that immediately downloads into my wardrobe any outfit I like on Instagram
– all shoes ordered online always fit perfectly
– a spell to find out what happens in Game of Thrones before anybody else so I can give them spoilers muahahahaha!
– a spell to always find a parking spot exactly where I need it…for my broom of course.
Leave me a comment below and tell me what wicked spell you dream of casting.

Follow:
  • Easy! A spell that allows me to eat anything I want without getting fat <3 :)))